Schema: Self-defeating, core themes or patterns that we keep repeating throughout our lives.
THE VULNERABILITY LIFETRAP
The following are signs that the Vulnerability Lifetrap is active:
- Always feeling that something bad is going to happen.
- Feels like catastrophe can strike at any moment.
- Worrying that you will become homeless.
- Worrying often about being attacked by criminals, thieves, etc.
- Worries about getting serious illness.
- Being too anxious to travel on planes, trains, etc.
- Have anxiety attacks.
- Being worried about any type of physical sensation in the body.
- Worrying you will lose control in public or go crazy.
- Worrying about having no money.
The following are possible ways this lifetrap may have developed.
- Your parents may have had the same lifetrap. Your parent was scared or had phobias about certain things related to the lifetrap.
- Your parents was overprotective and warned you often of dangers. You felt incompetent or fragile and felt you couldn’t handle everyday issues.
- Parents did not protect you adequately. Your childhood did not feel safe physically, emotionally, or financially.
- You were sick as a child or experienced traumatic event that led to feelings of vulnerability.
- A parent experienced traumatic event or may have died. You began to view the world as dangerous.
The following are ways of breaking this lifetrap:
- Understand where the lifetrap originates.
- Make a list of specific fears.
- Develop a hierarchy of feared situations.
- Ask for support from people close to you in facing your fears.
- Analyze probability of feared even happening.
- Utilize flashcards for feared events.
- Talk to your inner child and be a strong, brave parent for your inner child.
- Practice relaxation techniques.
- Utilize imagery to face your fears.
- Face each fear in real life when appropriate.
- Reward yourself for progress made.
With hard work and patience with yourself you can break this lifetrap and have a more satisfying life.
Reference: Young, J. & Klosko, J. (1994). Reinventing your life. Penguin Books. London, England.