Schema: Self-defeating, core themes or patterns that we keep repeating throughout our lives.
MISTRUST/ABUSE SCHEMA
This blog will focus on the Mistrust/Abuse Schema. If this schema is developed, it can manifest in the following ways:
- The expectation that others will harm you by lying, cheating, using humiliation, abuse, hurting, or taking advantage.
- Feels the harm is intentional.
- The harm is the result of negligent behavior or is unjustified.
- May feel they are cheated more than other people.
- May feel they always get the short end of the stick.
The origins of this lifetrap, or schema, may be due to abuse as a child, emotional abuse that included teasing and humiliation, family members may have exploited the person, you were warned not to trust others, people in the family were against you, or bullying.
To change this schema, the person may need to do some of the following:
- Seek therapy to heal from trauma
- Stop blaming yourself
- Reduce or stop contact with any oof the people that abused you
- When ready, confront the abuse and abuser. This can be done with a therapists help or guidance
- Do not tolerate abuse in current relationships
- Become closer and more trusting of healthy people
- Try to seek out partners that will respect boundaries and do not want to hurt you
- Do not become an abuser
Since this schema can relate to abuse as a child or presently, it is beneficial to seek professional help to work through the abuse and become more familiar with healthy boundaries.
Reference: Reference: Young, J. & Klosko, J. (1993). Reinventing your life. Plume Printing. London, England.