Guilt: A feeling you get when you did something wrong, or perceived you did something wrong.
Shame: A feeling that your whole self is wrong and it may not be related to a specific behavior or event.
Guilt:” I did something bad.”
Shame: “I am bad.”
GUILT
People tend to think of guilt as a negative emotion; or an emotion that they feel they should not be feeling. However, guilt is vital for our society. Guilt is what can keep someone from hurting others. It causes us to think about our actions that may have caused harm and then make changes to avoid causing that harm again.
It has been shown that people who are more prone to guilt are less likely to experiment with substances, are less likely to participate in criminal activity, less likely to commit suicide and are more likely to have safe sex.
SHAME
Shame on the other hand can be unhealthy and even become toxic. People with shame have been shown to be more likely to have unsafe sex, drink alcohol at an earlier age and are less likely to apply for college. Shame can lead to feelings of inadequacy that can have a negative impact on people and cause things like low self-esteem and low self-confidence.
Some people feel shame for things they have done, however others may feel shame for things that have happened to them. Childhood sexual abuse results in high levels of shame. Children have trouble processing what has happened to them and take responsibility for things that are not their fault. This also happens to adults who are victims of assault or abuse.
HEALING
One way to heal from shame is to begin retraining the brain. People with shame have an inner dialogue that is negative and includes negative thoughts and feelings about themselves. People need to begin by recognizing when the negative thinking is taking place and immediately replacing it with a positive thought or a thought that challenges the negative thinking. This has been shown to rewire the brain and help the brain become more positive which in turn helps the person feel better about themselves and helps them heal from the shame.